Day Six MPC: Looking In...

10:13 PM

Well, looking in on my day today you would have found this:
I had my morning coffee of course. Yes that is me with NO make-up!
I changed the sheets on both the girls beds.
I did a load of washing and hung it out.
BUT...that is not all.
I also cooked a new batch of vegies for bubba's meals. A containter in the fridge and two others in the freezer.
I started some organisation in my studio. Sorted through some of the kids clothing. Went through the kids books - some were thrown, some are being thrifted along, and the rest I sorted into age appropriate piles and put bubba's on the low shelf and Sprout's on the top shelf! Pretty nifty huh ;-)
I also made some hamburgers to be barbequed for tea which we had with chips baked in the oven and peas and corn.
And there was definitely some play moments shoved into the mix as well...

In thinking about today's topic of Looking In, I started thinking about looking inwardly at myself. What makes me really tick OR really ticked off?!
What makes me...well, ME?
 I thought I would make a small (ish) list of what goes on in the INNER me. is looking in:

*My brain is on overload ALL DAY. Always trying to be one step ahead with what needs to go on with the kids, in the household etc etc. Thinking of my craft projects, books I'm reading and whether I will get to fit any of them in today!?! I am just bursting with creative ideas and projects I want to do and I think about them constantly. My brain is ticking over so quickly right NOW that I can't even think what I am thinking about. Am I confusing you? Ok. Next point.

*I hate conflict. Having said that, I will thrash it out if the need arises and issues need to be dealt with! But ultimately, I like to keep the peace. I don't like to pick a fight.

*I detest negativity. It really deflates my spirit, as it would for anyone I guess. Negativity, to me, is just not beneficial at all. It really gets me down and irritates me. And when I get negative I really annoy myself! Like when I say something to hubby and he says something like 'Well that's abit negative, Anna' , it really stabs my heart and I get frustrated and slightly angry. Which would look like it was directed at hubby or whoever but it's really at myself and the sitution at hand.
So I always try to be positive. Think of the good in everything. But be realistic at the same time. I am not gonna kid myself, I know there is bad out there but that is why we need to focus on the good - to overcome the bad!!

*I am a perfectionist to the point of procrastination! And it annoys the living crap out of my husband!! And to be honest, it frustrates me too. I get an idea in my head as to how I want something and if I can't get it right the first time or it seems that I don't have the right resources, supplies, abilities or WHATEVER to begin with to complete the task perfectly, like it is in my head, how I desire...then it won't get done until it CAN be done perfectly! I know...nothing is perfect. And I set myself up for failure all the time by doing this. But I am getting better. And trying to just get in and DO it.

*I LOVE productivity. When I get to the end of the day and I know all my jobs are done, the kids are all fed and clean and ready for bed, I've managed to throw in some baking and other things into my day - I feel satisfied and proud of myself for doing so (in a good-not-puffed-up-egotistical way)!!

*I struggle with loneliness. Sounds silly hey? I have two kids around me daily, all day! I have my hubby. And even though my family live in another state on the other side of the country (which probably doesn't help), I can call them or skype them easily and fairly regularly. I live in the country and I guess it can seem a tad isolated at times, especially with no family support close by and no close friends to connect with here. It's not entirely the whole physical loneliness, but more so emotional loneliness. Like, I am alone in my thinking and no one really understands me and how I roll. Hubby tries but we do often come to a cross-roads and just leave it as it is and I kinda feel abit lost cos we haven't really resolved anything and we are both none the wiser in how each other is thinking or feeling! Having said that, my husband is my best friend and we are open with each other it's just sometimes we have these dead-end moments where we don't know if the matter is fixed or not! Pffft. Well that's how I feel anyway. 
Do ya know what I mean? Or am I really just alone in this.
Ha! Oh dear.
I have my faith so I know I am never really alone. And I find much comfort in this daily.

*I thrive on laughter! I love having a good laugh. It is uplifting and a real healer! Laughter truly is the best medicine. Enough said!

*I get embarressed for people when they are making fools of themselves or doing something wrong and they are totally oblivious to it. Like when someone is public speaking and they say something silly or make a blunder of some sort, I get so embarrased for them. To the point that I feel like everyone is looking at me and I am the one up there goofing it all up! LOL!
Do ya know what I am saying?

*I am the kind of person that will tell someone if their fly is undone, or they have food in their teeth, if there is a booga dangling out their nose, or they have toilet paper stuck to their shoe, or their dress is tucked into the back of their undies! Yes - it's happened! And I, more often than not, have quietly and ever-so-matter-of-factly, pointed it out and the situation has been rectified! And the majority of the victims, are usually VERY much appreciated! LOL!

And I will leave it there.
These are just a few things that I thought about today. It's good sometimes to just have a think and analyse yourself and your priorities. I know that I have some things to fix BUT I have alot to be thankful for and be glad about. I am me. And I am happy with that. And I want others to be happy with that (not gonna happen all the time, I know!). And to be happy with themselves.
And I have just said 'happy' ALOT right now. But it's such a happy word. I like it. Very much.
Happy. Happy. Happy.
Just be it :-)

With Sprinkles of Sunshine...


Oh and P.S.
Sprout was outside with her Dad today and she heard bubba inside crying and came knocking on the door to ask what happened and if she was all right, the little sweetheart!!

Just Looking In.

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